Improving a Thesis Statement

This lesson will show you how to write a clearer thesis statement for a specific question essay. This is the introduction paragraph and is applicable to both the GT and academic paper.

Many people think that job satisfaction is important in work.

Do you think young people these days should be sure of getting job satisfaction before taking a new job or should they put salary first?

What can we see from this essay question?

  1. The essay question asks for your opinion (“Do you think….?”)
  2. The essay is about what people look for when they take a new job
  3. It is often thought that people should choose a new job for job satisfaction
  4. Others think that people should choose a new job for the salary

Here’s a student’s thesis statement for their introduction. How would you improve the thesis statement? Try to write this thesis statement again before you look at the models.

While work satisfaction should be a motive for a successful employee, I do not think that salary must be a priority.”

Model Thesis Statement

Here are two possible ways that the above thesis statement could be better written to make the answer clearer for the reader.

1. In my opinion, I think that work satisfaction should be the main motive for choosing a job rather than salary.

2. In my opinion, it is better for people to put satisfaction at work as a priority for choosing a job instead of aiming for a competitive salary.

Model Introduction

Below is a model introduction with both a background and thesis statement. This offers yet another way to write the thesis statement:

People have different views as to whether job satisfaction or money is more important for a young person when choosing a new job. In my opinion, job satisfaction rather than a competitive salary should be the deciding factor and should be prioritised when accepting a new job.

Get my free lessons by email

Subscribe for free to get my new IELTS lessons sent to your email inbox.

Improving Sentences for Academic Writing

This practice exercise is about improving sentences for a higher score in IELTS writing task 2. See the essay question below.

There is a significant gap between rich and poor countries. Some people think that richer countries should be responsible for supporting poorer countries while others think it is the responsibility of the poorer countries. What is your opinion?

Below are some sentences from a student’s essay on the above topic. Read through the sentences and try to improve them yourself before you check the model answers. In other words, write the sentences again to make them accurate and also a better score.

1. Firstly, it is obvious that this is their job. Poorer countries should not wait for any organisation abroad or other governments to deal with this.

2. Secondly, depending too much on rich countries may make them weaker. For example, they will lose a part of their power  if they agree to allow developed nations to help them with critical issues.

3. Regarding to responsibility  of wealthy countries. They should support poorer countries because there are millions of people in poorer nations need their help. Many people in Africa, especially women and children die everyday because of lack of food, medical treatments.

4. However, rich countries should not be forces to help poorer ones. It should be a choice not a responsibility.

ANSWERS

Click below to reveal the answers:

Answer
  1. Firstly, poorer countries need to take immediate responsibility for developing their own country rather than wait for aid from foreign organisations or governments.
  2. Secondly, if poorer nations overly rely on aid from wealthy counties, it can create a dependency which may result in them growing weaker rather than stronger in the long run.
  3. Regarding the responsibility of the wealthier nations in the world, they should support poorer countries which are in need of fundamental help. For example, in Africa many people  die needlessly everyday, especially women and children, because of the lack of food and medical treatment which could be provided by richer countries in the form of aid.
  4. However, aid given by  richer countries should not be an obligation but, instead, a choice to take responsibility to help people in need regardless of the country in which they live.

.

RECOMMENDED FOR YOU:

ALL FREE WRITING TASK 2 LESSONS, TIPS AND MODEL ESSAYS

……………………………………………………..

FREE SUBSCRIBE: Get New Lessons & Tips by Email

.

Practice with Linking Words

In IELTS writing task 2, you will need to use a range of linking words to connect your sentences and to make your essay coherent. If you are aiming for band score 6 and above, it is important to show the examiner that you can use a good range of linkers. This lesson is aimed at intermediate to upper intermediate levels.

Below are some sentences which relate to the topic of work. Fill in the gaps to complete the sentences by choosing the appropriate linking word. Please note that you will need to consider the grammatical structure of each sentence to choose the correct linking word.

1. It is generally agreed that professional people doing shift work, …………………. (like / such as / take for example) nurses, doctors and police, should be given compensation for unsociable hours in the form of better benefits and higher pay.

2. Working overtime has its compensations ……………… ( therefore / but / although) can have a detrimental effect on the family.

3. ……………..(However / Although / But) women have equal employment rights to men, there still exists a glass ceiling, in many countries, which can prevent them from reaching the upper levels of a company.

4. Juvenile delinquency, which is a growing issue in many countries, should be addressed by both schools and parents ……………………( consequently / so as to / so ) get to the root of the problem.

5. Technology has had a great impact on the way people work …………..(but / and / consequently)  will no doubt continue to do so in the future.

Answers

  1. such as (‘like’ is not appropriate to use /  ‘take for example’ would require a different sentence structure to be used)
  2. but (‘although’ would require a different sentence structure to be used)
  3. Although
  4. so as to (this means ‘in order to’)
  5. and 
Tips

 

  1. Don’t just learn the meaning of linking words, learn how to use them correctly.
  2. Never use ‘like’ as a linking word in an academic essay.
  3. Don’t forget to use the linker ‘and’ – it is easy to use and still able to give you a high score.
  4. If you make mistakes with your linkers, you will struggle to get over band score 7 in Coherence and Cohesion, which is 25% of your marks.

 

IELTS Teachers and students can download this lesson for free on pdf file: linking-words-practice

Recommended

Conclusion Linkers: Video Tutorial

Get my free lessons by email

Subscribe for free to get my new IELTS lessons sent to your email inbox.

Grammar for IELTS Writing: Adding a Clause Video Tutorial

This video tutorial will teach you how to improve your grammar for IELTS writing task 2 by adding a clause to a sentence to form a complex sentence structure. To get a good score, you must be able to demonstrate a range of grammar including the ability to use clauses.

Get my free lessons by email

Subscribe for free to get my new IELTS lessons sent to your email inbox.

Grammar Accuracy for IELTS Writing Task 1

When you describe a chart, for example a pie chart, in 25% of your marks is based on grammar. In the criteria of grammar, the examiner will check the range of sentence structures and also the accuracy of your grammar. The more mistakes you have, the lower your score will be.

There are a number of common errors which students make with their grammar. Here is a list:

  1. Articles (using a / an / the )
  2. Plurals
  3. Uncountable nouns
  4. Punctuation (commas and full stops)
  5. Noun verb agreement (remember that third person singular in the present tense has an ‘s’)
  6. Verb tense
  7. Prepositions (in / on / at etc)

How does grammar accuracy affect the band scores?

Band Score 5 = frequent errors and there may be mistakes in punctuation. Errors may cause difficulty for the reader.

Band Score 6 = some errors in grammar and punctuation but errors rarely cause communication problems.

Band Score 7 = has good control of grammar and punctuation. Few mistakes made.

Band Score 8 = the majority of sentences are free of errors.There are only occasional errors made.

ielts grammar exercise

Source: The above pie charts were not created by IELTS Liz.

Grammar Accuracy Practice: Spot the Errors

Look at the following sentences and find the grammar mistakes. Each sentence may have one or more mistakes.

1. While the spending on housing was 72.1%  in 2010 the spending was 22%.

2. The spending on food were 11.2% in 1950 and 34% in 2010.

3. The biggest spending in 1950 is 72.1% while in 2010 the majority of money spent is on food.

4. Spending on other items was 4.4% in the first year and 19.2% in the second year.

5. The pie charts shows the typical expenditure of a household in 6 main categories.

6. There was an increase in spending in all area except with housing and education, which showed a downward trend over the period given.

7. The least amount spent in both years was in health care.

8. There was significant decrease in spending on housing from 71% to 22%.

Answers

  1. There should be a comma after 72.1%. (punctuation)
  2. were = was (noun verb agreement)
  3. is = was (verb tense – this mistake is made twice) / the comma is missing before the word “while”.
  4. item = items (plurals)
  5. shows = show (noun verb agreement)
    1. area = areas (plurals)
    2. with = for (prepositions)
  6. in = on (prepositions)
  7. There was  significant decrease… = There was a significant decrease…(articles)

IELTS Grammar: Connecting Sentences

Grammar is 25% of your marks in IELTS writing task 2 and to get band score 6 and above, you must have complex sentences. Watch this video to learn how to connect two sentences together to make one complex sentence.

IELTS Writing Task 1: Line graph 4 main sentences

Learn how to make 4 different complex sentences for a line graph report. It is important to show the examiner that you can make a range of complex sentence structures.

It’s not difficult. You can easily improve your range of complex sentences.

Transcript

Hello in this lesson I’m going to show you
how to write

different complex sentences for

a line graph report in IELTS writing
task 1

it’s very important when you write

your body paragraphs for your

IELTS task 1 that you have a range

of different complex sentences to show
the examiner

now in a previous lesson

I showed you how to write a sentence

similar to this if you haven’t watched
that

lesson please watch it is very important
that you understand how to make

the sentence so what I’m going to do is
I’m gonna take this sentence

the same information and change

the order so that we have different
structures

let’s have a look at the sentence first

the number of people becoming a vegetarian

that is our subject it’s quite long

after the subject we’ve got the verb

and if you look at the dates you can see
that it is

the past tense after the verb we need to

described the movement and that

is we say its increased steadily

so that’s our adverb after that

we had the numbers and after the numbers

we had that date so let’s

change that a little bit and write the
sentence in a different way

well one way we could change as we could
start with the dates

so between 2004

and 2007

the number

of people

we say becoming vegetarian increased

steadily from

about 75

to 200 I’ll stop there often when
we put the date first

we have a comma after that

and then we have the number of people

so that’s one way to change it now

there are more ways let’s have a look at
another way

the next way I’m gonna show you to
change that

is can you see this word here increased

now that’s a verb but

we could also use it as a noun an

increase so I’m gonna write a sentence
using

this word as a noun to do that we need
to start with

there was an increase

okay we always start with there was if it
past tense of course

so there was and lets

stop for a minute because here we’ve got

the word steadily which is an adverb

now we still want to use that word

but because this will be a noun we need
to use this

as an adjective so

if we have an adjective it usually comes

before the noun so that means we need to
change the order

and the form of the word so there was

a steady

increase so

again very important remember if it’s
a verb you have the adverb

afterwards if it’s a noun

you have adjective in front and
we change from steadily

to steady so there was a steady increase

now we need to give this information

but to do that we need to use a
preposition first

and the preposition is

in so there was

a steady increase in the number

of people

we could say becoming vegetarian

if we want to develop that so we’ve got
that

now we need the numbers

from about 75

to 200 and what’s missing

well the dates are missing

got between 2004

sorry 2004

and 2007

so that is another way to structure

your sentence and still give

all the information we need with the
numbers

and the dates now there;s one more way

that I’d like to show you so let’s have a
look

so the last way I’m gonna show you in
this lesson

is again to use this as

an noun but we changed the sentence
structure

again so the number of

people becoming

vegetarian

experienced a steady

increase

so with this sentence we’ve got the verb
experienced

the number experience the figure
experienced

we could also say witnessed after the

verb we’ve got the noun a steady

adjective a steady increase

and we got a steady increase

from about 75

to 200

between 2004

and 2007

so now we’ve added the numbers

and the dates well those are the 4

main complex sentences you can use

when you write your line graph report
for IELTS

writing task 1 there are other
sentences we can use but they are the

four

main ones that you need to practice and

perfect which means write without

too many mistakes remember the more mistakes you
make

lower your band score will be

so please practice writing those
sentence structures

well that’s all for this lesson I
hope that was useful for you

please remember to press like or share it
with your friends

if it was useful well I’ll see you
again

in another IELTS lesson

IELTS Graph Tutorial: Writing a Complex Sentence

Learn how to write a complex sentence for an IELTS line graph. It is common to be given a line graph to describe the main trends of the lines. This video tutorial shows you step by step how to write a complex sentence structure of over 25 words.

If you are aiming for band score 6 or above, you need to use complex sentences for your line graph description. This lesson will help you learn what information to put in your complex sentence. The complex sentence in this lesson is typical of a sentence used in a body paragraph.

Sentence Content

  • subject
  • verb
  • adverb
  • difference of amounts
  • numbers
  • dates

All sentences in the body paragraphs should be complex and must be supported by data. This means the sentences must have numbers and dates if you wish to get a high score.

IELTS Video: How to Write a Complex Sentence

How to form a complex sentence structure for IELTS writing task 1 line graph.

Sorry – this video has been removed in order to remake it. I hope to have it ready next year. Meanwhile, use this video instead: 4 Main Sentence Structures for IELTS writing task 1

Recommended

Main IELTS Pages

Develop your IELTS skills with tips, model answers, lessons, free videos and more.

error: Content is protected !!