Punctuation Practice for Writing

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Below is an example of a complex sentence which does not have any punctuation. Not only does it lack commas but it also lacks full stops – it’s too long. This is a mistake that many students make. They think that the longer the sentence, the higher the band score – unfortunately this is not true. Check the three questions to help you decide how to punctuate it.

  • How many sentences do you think it should be?
  • Where would you put the full stops?
  • Where would you put the commas?

Write this sentence again using correct punctuation.

Firstly while it is thought that over population can be solved by limiting the number of children people can have it would be better to limit the number of people moving from rural to urban areas which is where the biggest problem lies because many people are moving to cities in search of employment so if the government tried to create more jobs in the countryside the problem would be solved almost instantly.

Answer

Firstly, while it is thought that over population can be solved by limiting the number of children people can have, it would be better to limit the number of people moving from rural to urban areas. This is where the biggest problem lies. Many people are moving to cities in search of employment so if the government tried to create more jobs in the countryside, the problem would be solved almost instantly.

Comments:

  1. After a linker such as “firstly” at the beginning of a sentence we usually use a comma.
  2. When you use the linker “while” or “although” at the start of a sentence, you will need a comma before the clause.
  3. The sentence using “while” is long so it is logical and necessary to have a full stop after it.
  4. The word “this” is used in order to divide the sentences and start a new one. This sentence is not long but it is still considered complex because it uses a “where” clause.
  5. The last sentence has two sentences joined with the linking word “so”. The first part is quite simple, while the second part is a second conditional which requires a comma between clauses.

 

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IELTS Writing Task 2: Practice with Linking Words

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Decide the best linking word to use in the following sentences:

  1. (Whereas / While / But)……………… individuals can make a considerable difference to environmental problems, they ought to be dealt with on a global scale to be solved effectively.
  2. Global warming is a prominent issue these days (due to / owing to / because)……………. it has a direct impact on the climate of countries all over the world.
  3. (As a result / Consequently / Thus)……………… of global warming, sea levels are rising which threaten many low lying lands.
  4. One of the best ways to deal with global warming is to reduce the emissions of fossil fuels, (specific / particularly / certainly)…………. from industry.
  5. Global warming affects weather patterns and can cause extreme weather (namely / as an example / like) ………………. heat waves, droughts and floods.
Answers
  1. While
  2. because
  3. As a result
  4. particularly
  5. namely

 

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Essay Ideas: Littering in Cities

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Ideas for an opinion essay

Littering in cities is an increasing problem which needs to be dealt with. Some people think that steeper fines is the best way to deal with the problem.

To what extent do you agree?

When you analyse a statement for an opinion essay, it is useful to ask yourself different questions regarding the topic. Think about the questions below and then decide your answer.

Questions for Analysis

  1. What is littering? Answer
    Dropping waste on the ground or in the streets rather than disposing of it correctly by putting it in the bin.
  2. Why do people litter?Answer
    Some litter because they don’t care about the effects and some do it just for convenience.
  3. It is already an offence to throw litter in the streets so why do people continue to do it?Answer
    Most people know it is wrong but they do it because they know they will not be caught.
  4. Would having a bigger fine stop them?Answer
    It is possible that a heavy fine might deter them but only if it is likely they will be caught and the fine imposed.
  5. Is having a bigger fine the best way to stop littering? Answer
    It’s one way to stop people but not everyone agrees that it is the best way.
  6. Are there other ways to stop littering? Answer
    Yes, one way is to put more bins in the streets so that people will use them rather than throw their litter on the floor. Educating children from a young age to dispose of their litter correctly is another way. Some people think that having more police on the streets would be a good deterrent because people will be less likely to attempt to litter the streets.

Now use your ideas and form them into an essay format. That means you should have two or three main ideas which are divided into two or three body paragraphs. After you have your essay ideas planned, check the model  body paragraphs below. Can you write the introduction and conclusion for the model essay below?

Model Body Paragraphs

Body Paragraph A: Having bigger fines is certainly one way to tackle the issue of littering. Increasing the fines will make people take littering more seriously. At present, many people litter the streets because they do not consider this to be a serious offence and for the convenience but by imposing a considerable penalty, people will think twice before they litter.

Body Paragraph B: However, the best way to deal with the problem of littering would be a long-term solution involving educating the younger generation. Littering is common due to the fact that many people are not fully aware of the environmental and health impacts that it has. By raising awareness and building a habit of disposing of waste correctly, this problem can be eradicated in coming generations.

Body Paragraph C: Finally, another possible solution would be to have more litter bins available to the public. The reason being that the majority of people littering the streets do so because there are no bins available to put their waste in and they do not wish to carry their rubbish with them until they find a bin. By having more bins available, it would not only be more convenient for people to dispose of their waste properly but it would also act as a reminder for them to do so.

 

Recommended

Collection of Essay Ideas

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How should music lessons be funded? Sample Answer

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Below is a student’s discussion essay. Read through the essay and then answer the questions below.

Some people think that the government should fund music, dance and arts lessons for children. Others think that they should be funded by private businesses or by children’s families. Discuss both views and give your own opinion.

Student Essay 

It is argued in the statement that government should contribute in music, dance and arts learning of the children whereas many others think that it is the responsibility of parents or local organisations to support these programs. In my opinion, the above mentioned subjects should be aided by the concerning and governing bodies of a state.


On the one hand, it is often thought by many people that government of a state should contribute in learning of arts and cultural subjects such as music and dance for the children. For example, in some secondary schools, government provides material required in the construction of different art projects or instruments like guitar and keyboard to learn music. This example clearly shows that by providing support to the young students, government could easily promote cultural and traditional values all around the world. Hence, governments are responsible for the growth of arts and music.


On the other hand, according to some people, instead of governing bodies, children’s families or private agencies should participate in the growth and learning of music, dance or other arts work. For instance, students of a single class may not be equally interested in learning music or dance, so funding by the government could be wasted in this manner. Therefore, it is important that parents of interested kids should groom their children by sending them to the private institutions where they can enjoy their preferences. In this way, funds by the government can be utilized well on some other things.


To conclude, I believe that government should provide all the facilities of learning arts and music, as this is the cultural heritage which should be preserved internationally.

Questions

  1. Does the student give a clear opinion? What is their opinion? Answer
    The answer is given quite well. The student believes the government should pay for the lessons. However, the vocabulary is not completely clear “the concerning and governing bodies of a state.” The word “concerning” is irrelevant and is slightly confusing. The thesis statement should be very clear and vocabulary 100% accurate so only write about the government.
  2. Is the information in the introduction relevant?Answer
    Yes, the information given is mostly relevant. There is no unnecessary information given. There is a background statement and a thesis statement. However, the introduction could be improved by using more precise vocabulary. For example, the students wrote “government should contribute in music, dance and arts learning” but this essay is about money and funding not just contributing. Again in the thesis statement the student writes “should be aided” but this essay is not about giving help, it’s about money. “The student is trying to avoid repeating the word “funding” but it should be repeated – you can get a band score 9 even with that word repeated. Another way to say it is “pay for”.
  3. What reasons are given in the essay for the government to fund lessons in school? Can you think of other reasons?Answer
    The ideas are not completely clear but they are that the government can pay for equipment and can help in the growth of the arts. This could be written more clearly “One reason for government funding is that the government has more financial resources to pay for expensive equipment needed to run top quality classes. Another benefit of state funded lessons is that they can help promote these subjects on a wider scale.” Thes e are the main reasons. 
  4. What reasons are given in the essay for lessons to be privately funded? Are they correct? Can you think of more?Answer
    The reasons are that students are not all equally interested in art or music and another reason is that students can enjoy their preferences in private lessons. These are good reasons but in this paragraph there is also disadvantages of government funding – that is not needed in this paragraph. This paragraph should be about private funding only. Other reasons why privately funded lessons are better – 1. teachers can adapt lessons to suit the individual learner 2. the time and length of lesson is more flexible 3. classes are either individual or one-to-one so there’s more feedback and support
  5. Can you find an example of non academic words?Answer
    Yes, the word “kid”. This student is worried about repeating the word “children” and it over paraphrasing. Children are children – the word will be repeated. “kid” is not academic. Also the word “like” used as a linking device is not academic. 
  6. What band score would you give this essay?Answer
     The essay structure is excellent. The ideas are mostly relevant. It would probably get about 6.5. It could get band score 7 if the vocabulary was more accurate and the student wrote about funding rather than helping.
  7. What advice would you give this student to improve?Answer
    Don’t try to paraphrase all words. Decide which words can and cannot be paraphrase accurately. Also don’t change the meaning of the essay. Over paraphrasing is as problematic as under paraphrasing. This essay is about funding not about contributing or aiding. Underline the key words in the essay question and always make sure you are answering them.

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Improving Sentences: E-books and paper books

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Improve your academic writing skills for IELTS writing task 2.

In recent years, more and more people are choosing to read e-books rather than paper books.

Do the advantages outweigh the disadvantages?

The statements below are taken from a student’s essay and contain some mistakes. Can you re-write these sentences so that they are not only correct but also higher band score?

  1. In my point of view, reading digital books have more advantages compared with printed books.
  2. First and foremost, E-book is been accessed, nowadays, easily by the people in a fraction of seconds through the advanced modern communication technologies.
  3. Secondly, buying an electronic version books are easier than the printed paper books.
  4. On the other hand, People health will affect when they spend more time to read books by using the modern gadgets such as laptop, mobile phones and tablets.
  5. In conclusion, in my view, electronic version books bring more pleasure and easily to access.

Try writing the sentences for yourself before you check the answers.Answers

  1. In my opinion, reading digital books has more advantages compared to printed books. (“reading digital books” is the subject and it is actually singular so the verb must be “has” not “have”)
  2. First and foremost, e-books can be easily accessed by people in only a fraction of a second through the use of advanced modern technology. ( The phrase “a fraction of a second” can’t be plural and must be written as it is. It’s a nice phrase to use and can be used for academic writing – just make sure you write it correctly)
  3. Secondly, buying electronic books online is easier for the consumer than purchasing printed paper books.
  4. On the other hand, spending too much time reading e-books on bright screens from gadgets such as laptops or tablets, can have an adverse effect on people’s health.
  5. In conclusion, I think that e-books are more accessible to both read and buy for the consumer than conventional paper books.

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IELTS Writing Penalty for Being Under Words

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“Under the word count” penalty update for IELTS Writing Task 2 

As you see on the page below, previously you would have a fixed penalty of band score 5 for Task Response in IELTS writing task 2 if you wrote under the word count which is 250 words. This rule has now been removed.

Does this mean you can now write under the word count?

The answer to this is yes and no. Let me explain. It is possible to write under the word count and you will get no fixed penalty. But will it impact your score?

Writing a short essay which is under 250 words will definitely impact your score and not in a good way. The requirements of good band score are that you develop your ideas sufficiently. This means you must have enough words to develop your main points. A short essay doesn’t do this. Take a look below at the requirements of Task Response regarding this:

  • Band 5 = ideas are limited and not sufficiently developed
  • Band 6 = ideas might be inadequately developed
  • Band 7 = extends main ideas
  • Band 8 = presents well-developed response with extended ideas
  • Band 9 = fully extended ideas

As you see, developing and extending your main points is crucial to increase your score. You cannot develop your ideas properly if your body paragraphs are too short. Certainly, a long paragraph is no guarantee of a well-developed idea, but a short paragraph will ensure it is not developed enough. So, you need two things: 1) body paragraphs that are long enough to be considered developed.  2) body paragraphs containing sentences that are focused and relevant. Basically, the right length and focused.

What word limits do you recommend for paragraphs?

  • Your introduction is a functional paragraph of just two statements usually about 40-50 words.
  • Each body paragraph MUST be sufficiently developed for a high score. If you have two body paragraphs, it’ll be about 95 words per paragraph and about 65 words for three body paragraphs. Having less might put you at risk of not having sufficiently developed main points.
  • The conclusion is also a functional paragraph of about 30-40 words.

In total, your essay should be around 270 – 290 words in length. If you write less, your ideas might not be developed enough for a high score. If you write more, your ideas might lack focus and sentences might lack relevancy. See my model essays on this page: IELTS Writing Task 2 Lessons & Tips

Word count Rules Previously Used by IELTS Before

There used to be a fixed penalty in IELTS writing if you wrote under the word count which is 150 words for writing task 1 and 250 words for writing task 2.  You would automatically get only band 5 in Task Response which counts for 25% of your marks.

Other things affecting your score

  1. Your handwriting – if the examiner has problems reading your handwriting, your band score can be seriously affected.
  2. Memorised answer – if your essay answer is memorised, it will not be accepted and could result in a 0 band score.
  3. Limited answer – if you fail to answer the whole question and only answer half of it, you will not get above band score 5 in task response.

Is there a penalty for writing too much?

No, there is no upper limit. However, writing too many words does not mean you will get a better mark. In fact, it might cause problems.  It might include sentences that are less relevant and less focused. People often like to add “padding” to their essays but this only lowers your score. See this page: How Many Words is Recommended for Writing Task 2

Recommended

For more answers to questions about IELTS writing task 2, follow the link.

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IELTS Essay Ideas: Banning Mobile Phones

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A recent essay question reported on Jan 31:

Some people think that the use of mobiles (cell) phones should be banned in public places such a in libraries and shop and on public transport. To what extent do you agree or disagree with this statement?

Ideas

Reasons for Banning Mobile Phones in Public Places

  • Phones can be intrusive. (uninvited noise to others)
  • Phones can disturb others when they are concentrating, for example in a library.
  • They are antisocial as people are too busy sending messages to talk to the people in front of them, for example in a shop when they are being served.
  • The signal can cause problems in some public places, such as hospitals, by interfering with delicate instruments or equipment.
  • In some public place, such as libraries, music halls or galleries, phones can annoy and ruin the experience for others.

Reasons for Not Banning Mobiles Phones in Public Places

  • Mobiles do not need to be intrusive as they can easily be turned to silent or vibrate.
  • Phones can be useful in case of emergencies, for instance accidents in public places.
  • Phones can provide entertainment when travelling on tedious journeys, particularly on public transport.
  • Phones are multi-functional and can be used as recording devices or cameras so shouldn’t be banned in public.
  • They are useful for families overseas to get in touch with each other.
  • They provide a safety for youngsters as parents can easily get in touch with them wherever they are.

Concessions

  • mobile phones should be banned in places where they interfere with equipment, interrupt a service or break rules, such as in a library, but in all other public places they should be allowed as long as they are used with respect to others

Recommended

Please note that some of the above ideas are not connected to the exact essay question (for example, they include ideas about banning phones in hospitals or museums – these are ideas just to help you with the general topic rather than the exact essay question)

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IELTS Direct Question Essay: Success of a Business

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Sample essay about judging success in business. This essay question  asks two direct questions which you must answer about the way success in business can be measured. The essay below was written by a student but as one major flaw – can you find it.

Essay Question

Some people think that the only way to judge someone’s success in business is by the amount of money they make.

Is money a true indicator of the success of a business?

In what other ways could success in a business be measured?

Student’s Essay

It is argued in the statement that achievement and success in business can only be judged by the amount earned by the people. From my perspective, money is a true and most valuable criterion to mark success of a business. There are different other ways to measure business success which will be taken into account prior to reaching an informed conclusion.

Money is considered as a correct and reliable index to predict the strength of a successful business. For example, families of victorious business owners are rolling in money just because they earn a lot to fulfil the needs and demands of their dependents. It is clearly evident from the given example that the amount of money directly correlates with the huge productivity and outcome of a trade. So, it is only possible for someone to deal with all the life affairs very coherently with an ample amount of earning.

There are many other potential ways in which the peak of running business can be measured easily. Firstly, different deals and standard packages are only offered by the leading multinational companies. Secondly, a power of occupation can also be judged by the remarkable number of clients. Thirdly, an organization can also become successful with happy clerks and working staff. Finally, a success of a business can be related to the amount of taxes paid by its owners, as increased income will lead to more tax payments.

To conclude, although money is the most important way to determine the effectiveness of a business but other methods are also very important to tackle multiple problems in running a business. By following the above mentioned protocols, economy would have a bright future internationally.

Assessing the Essay Above

  1. Should the thesis statement begin with “From my prospective, …”
  2. Does the thesis statement provide answers to the questions?
  3. Does the first body paragraph answer the first question?
  4. Does the second body paragraph answer the second question?
  5. Does the topic sentence ( the first sentence) for each paragraph contain the main point?
  6. Are linking devices used well?
  7. What other comments can you make about this essay?
Answers
  1. It is better to start with “In my opinion”. See this lesson about how to give your opinion in an IELTS essay.
  2. Yes, each question should be answered in the introduction.
  3. Yes.
  4. Some of the points are off topic. Some ideas about how a company can become successful instead of how success is measured.
  5. The topic sentence for BP1 is fine and provides a clear answer. However, the topic sentence for BP2 is not clear because it doesn’t mention about measuring success of a business but about measuring the running of a business  (which is not the same thing).
  6. Yes, they are used well.
  7. More time needs to be spent planning ideas to make sure they are on topic. Here are some tips on planning an IELTS essay.

 

IELTS Model Essays Band Score 9, click to open

 

 

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