Improving Sentences for IELTS Writing Task 2

Improve your Sentences for IELTS Writing Task 2 by creating more complex sentence structures and reducing your grammar errors. Below are some sentences written by a student. Your task is to spot the mistakes and also to improve the sentences so that they are a higher band score.

Creating Higher Band Score Sentences for IELTS Writing

There are many ways to improve sentences in your IELTS writing. Some people think the only way is to create long sentences – this is not true. To improve sentences you can:

  1. use clauses
  2. using linking words to connect ideas
  3. give more precise information that improves the quality of the sentence 
  4. reduce errors

See the sentences below and the ways I use to improve the sentences to make them higher band score.

Improving Sentences Example 1

Below are three short sentences. You can increase your IELTS writing band score by connecting them and also adding more precise details

Many children are obese. They eat too much junk food. They should do exercises.

Option 1: Connect the sentences:

  • Many children are obese because they eat too much junk food and one way to tackle this is to encourage them to do more exercises.

Option 2: Add more valuable information:

  • An increasing number of children are struggling with obesity which can have a serious impact on their health. This is mainly because they are eating foods which are high in unhealthy fats and sugars as well as having a sedentary lifestyle lacking in sufficient exercise. To tackle this, children must be given a balanced, controlled diet and encouraged to get exercise every day to burn the calories they consume as well as reduce blood sugar levels.

Improving Sentences Example 2

Facebook is a good way to connect to friends. People can keep up to date with friends. Personal information is not always secure.

Option 1: Connect the Sentences

  • Although Facebook allows people to connect to each other and keep up to date with their news, their personal information might be at risk.

Option 2: Add more valuable information

  • Admittedly, Facebook provides a fun, interactive way for people to stay connected and remain in each other’s lives no matter the distance. However, by sharing so much personal information on a public, insecure platform, people are opening themselves up to online security problems such as identify theft, fraud and even cyber stalking.

Reduce Sentence Errors to Increase your IELTS Score

The more errors your sentences contain, the lower your score will be. It is better to write two sentences which are controlled in length and with no errors than one long sentence with errors. A long complex sentence with errors will not help your score.

The most common errors are in:

  • articles  a/the
  • plural nouns and countable nouns
  • prepositions
  • linking words
  • clauses
  • gerunds (verb+ing = noun)

Spot the errors in the sentences below:

  1. In my opinion, study history is extremely important in term of learning about culture, and science, medicine development.
  2. On the one hand, history is a subject that is rarely used in people’s lives. Thus it would be better to focus on science and technology, which is more relevant to the future.
  3. In other word, they should use the school time effectively, because students are loosing the motivation to study subjects like history that has no importance role in day to day life.
  4. For instance, most people memorising dates, names and facts when they studying history. This information is not useful for future.
  5. Furthermore, Valuable information can often be found in history, how science and technology had developed over the years.
  6. Although history has many information that is not useful in today’s world, studying history can help people learn about their background.

ANSWERS

Click below to see the mistakes and how to improve the sentences:

ANSWERS
  1. In my opinion, study history is extremely important in term of learning about culture, and science, medicine development.
    • Answer: In my opinion, studying history is extremely important in terms of learning about culture, the development of science and medicine.
      • studying = you need a gerund (a verb that has been converted to a noun using +ing).
      • in terms of = this is a linking word that you should learn by heart. It is quite common to use in writing task 1 and writing task 1. See this page for LINKING WORDS LIST
      • and = you must have the word and before the last item in a list.
      • Improvement = In my opinion, studying history is important because it can help people gain a deeper insight into certain aspects of everyday life such as the evolution of culture, science and even medicine.
  2. On the one hand, history is subject that is rarely used in people’s lives. Thus it would be better to focus on science and technology, which is more relevant to the future.
    • Answer: On the one hand, as history is a subject that is rarely used in people’s lives. Thus, it would be better to focus on science and technology, which are more relevant to the future.
      • “subject” is a countable noun and requires an article = a
      • Thus, = sure you use a comma after a linking word at the start of a sentence.
      • science and technology are two separate subjects so the verb should be plural =  are
      • Improvement = On the one hand, as history is a subject that is rarely of use in people’s everyday lives, it would be better to focus on subjects that are more relevant in today’s modern world and to our future, such as science and technology.
  3. In other word, they should use the school time effectively, because students are loosing the motivation to study subjects like history that has no importance role in day to day life.
    • Answer: In other words, school time should be used effectively because students are losing the motivation to study subjects, such as history, that play no important role in day to day life.
    • In other words = another example of a mistake with linking words. Linking words are easy to learn and make a huge difference to your final band score for writing task 2. You shouldn’t make any mistakes with this language.
    • “the school time” does not require an article (no “the” needed).
    • losing = the spelling loosing is a spelling mistake
    • such as = you cannot use like as a linking device in writing task 2 because it is too informal. Also, don’t forget the commas
    • has no importance role = play no important role
    • Improvement = In other words, the time spent in schools should be used more effectively by focusing on subjects that are more relevant in today’s world rather than subjects such as history, which has little meaning for most young people, so that students do not lose motivation to learn.
  4. For instance, most people memorising dates, names and facts when they studying history. This information is not useful for future.
    • Answer: For instance, most people memorise dates, names and facts when they study history which is not considered useful information for their future. (Combine the sentences.)
    • most people memorising = most people memorise
    • when they studying = when they study
    • the future = their future
    • Combining the two sentences into one complex sentence is better and it is quite easy to do.
    • Improvement = For instance, most people are forced to memorise long lists of dates, names and facts for events that happened centuries ago when studying history, which is not particularly useful information for their future.
      • Note: I’ve changed when they study to when studying (using a gerund is better for your band score).
  5. Furthermore, Valuable information can often be found in history, how science and technology had developed over the years.
    • Answer: Furthermore, valuable information can often be found in history relating to how science and technology have developed over the years.
    • valuable should not have a capital letter in this sentence
    • the two clauses in the sentence should be connected using relating to
    • had = have (plural)
    • Improvement = Furthermore, there is a lot to gain from the study of history namely valuable information relating to how science and technology have developed over the decades, which can help people spot trends of how they are likely to continue developing in the future.
  6. Although history has many information that is not useful in today’s world, studying history can help people learn about their background.
    1. Answer: Although history has a lot of information that is not useful in today’s world, studying it can help people learn about their background.
    2. many information = a lot of information (information is an uncountable noun)
    3. studying history – studying it (don’t repeat words)
    4. Improvement = Although the study of history requires people to learn a lot of information that does not seem to directly relate to their life today, it can help people gain a sense of their own cultural identity, which can bring understanding, tolerance and even unite a country.

I hope you found this lesson useful. If you did, let me know and I’ll post more like this for you. All the best, Liz

.

RECOMMENDED FOR YOU:

Linking Words List for IELTS Essays

100 IELTS Essay Questions

ALL MODEL ESSAYS & TIPS FOR IELTS WRITING TASK 2

FREE SUBSCRIBE

Subscribe to get new lessons & tips by email.

.

Comments

  1. Hey Liz,
    Thank You so much for all the excellent lessons on this website.

    My IELTS Exam is scheduled on day after tomorrow. I have one doubt that in the writing section, is it necessary to attempt writing task 1 before writing task 2 ? As I am giving Pen and Paper Test, so will there be different answer sheets for both the writing tasks or will there be only a single sheet to accommodate both of these tasks ?? I am asking this because I have a doubt about the availability of sheets in the exam and also the time spent because I do not want a situation to arise where I have written quite more in Writing task 1 but less in Writing task 2 due to the lack of time or the space available for writing task 2.

    I personally want to attempt writing task 2 first and then writing task 1 because writing task 2 covers more weightage than writing task 1 . Please let me know the same about it as I am quite unaware of the structure of pen and paper based test answer sheet in the exam.

    Also, please pray for my test !!

    • You are given one hour for the writing test to complete task 1 and task 2 during that time. You can use your time the way you want during that one hour. No one will tell you when to turn from task 1 to task 2 or from task 2 to task 1. It is your time to use as you want. It is fine to start with task 2. However, when people do that they often don’t leave themselves enough time for task 1, so make sure you keep your eyes on the clock and ensure you have 20 mins for task 1. Although task 1 only counts for about 33%, it is often the difference between a good score and a poor score. You will be given both tasks at the start of the one hour and the answer sheets will be labelled as task 1 or task 2 so use the appropriate sheet when you write your answers. You can find more useful information about the IELTS test on this page: https://ieltsliz.com/ielts-help-faq/. The IELTS test is not different because you take it on paper rather than on a computer. Only in the final minutes of the listening test is there one slight difference – in no other part of the test do any difference exist.

  2. Hi Liz. I have my IELTS exam in one week, but I am still struggling with my writing tasks because I make so many errors using articles and prepositions. I have read your blog about countable and uncountable nouns and tried so many things, but my writing didn’t improve too much. Can you please suggest anything to reduce my grammatical errors? It would be a great help if you reply.

    • To improve language, such as grammar, takes longer than one week. IELTS skills are quite to change, but language usually takes more time. However, it is still worth trying to see if you can reduce your errors. I created a Grammar E-books which is aimed at helping people gain accuracy and also helping them showcase a range of grammar features that the examiner will mark. You can find my Grammar E-book in my store: https://elizabethferguson.podia.com/. It’s a big book, so focus only on developing accuracy in the days before your test. Good luck!

  3. You are awesome Liz! Thank you for your constant support.

  4. This is really useful. Can you post some more examples of improving sentences.
    Thanks

  5. TonyLeeee says

    Hello, Liz! Pardon me for some questions, I think it’s “losing motivation” and “has no important role (to play)” in the example 3?

  6. It’s quite evident that the salary being one of the primary source of income, the extent of it has provided both benefits and limitations. In recent days, many distinguished professionals like doctors, engineers and others are earning more than the expectation level across the globe.
    In my opinion, highly paid jobs have certainly provided people with lot of luxuries and comforts. For instance, the volume of people’s earning is crossing the limits beyond their requirements. Many are able to invest more into real-estates and procure expensive shares in stock exchange for trading. These progressive achievements have indirectly proven to be supporting the government authorities by the means of taxation and VAT (Value Added Tax). This outcome has really able to strengthen the domain of economy and finance of any country. The Government should encourage this in the perception of country’s development.
    On the other hand, it is also witnessed that people who are highly paid are spending a huge portion of their remuneration on unwanted sectors or tasks. There are many real-time examples showcasing many professionals are involved in buying illegal commodities to fulfill their personal greed. These set of people can also be a major threat which may not be visible apparently. In these aspects, I recommend government shall keep a concrete monitoring system to track.
    Eventually, the aspect of salary should serve as the mode of social and economic growth for any individual as well as country. Irrespective of whether it exceeds the limits or not, however it shall be treated with many observations. It also proves as one of the key challenge for any government in order to channelize the financial assets invested by means of highly paid salaries.

  7. Hi Ma’am Liz!
    Hope u’re health is getting better and my lots of prayers are for u.
    I bought all your video lessons plus ideas for ielts essay ebook. My test is on 11 nov 2021.
    I wish I would have bought them earlier….
    Will u be making video for problem solution essay?

    Also, I have found a question in which cause to a problem is being asked and in the next question disadvantage has been asked…
    I’m confused now as to how to answer such question?

    Question was:
    Many people choose to be self employed., rather than to work for a company.
    What is the cause?
    What could be the disadvantages of being self employed?

    Can u please give an idea as to how to answer such type of question.im really worried.
    Looking forward to hear from you.

    • I’m glad you’ve been enjoying my e-books and advanced lessons. Yes, I’ll be making the Solution Essay Video lesson. I’m currently putting the materials together for it. However, my health problems prevent me making videos. If I can get my health to a better level, I’ll make some more Advanced Writing Task 2 lessons and Advanced Reading lessons.

      The essay question you’ve presented is a lovely combination essay. You will have two body paragraphs. The first one will present the reasons why people choose to be self-employed rather than work for a company. These reasons could be: a) flexibility b) companies no longer offer the job security which used to be a draw to working for a company c) there are more opportunities to be self-employed by working online. I’m sure you can think of other reasons. Your second body paragraph will present the problems associated with being self-employed such as – no sick pay or holiday pay, lack of security, lack of work atmosphere if working alone etc.

      The key is not to pack too many points into each body paragraph. You don’t want your paragraphs reading like a list of points. Instead, just choose two good points for each paragraph and develop them sufficiently.

Speak Your Mind

*

error: Content is protected !!