This practice exercise is about improving sentences for a higher score in IELTS writing task 2. See the essay question below.
There is a significant gap between rich and poor countries. Some people think that richer countries should be responsible for supporting poorer countries while others think it is the responsibility of the poorer countries. What is your opinion?
Below are some sentences from a student’s essay on the above topic. Read through the sentences and try to improve them yourself before you check the model answers. In other words, write the sentences again to make them accurate and also a better score.
1. Firstly, it is obvious that this is their job. Poorer countries should not wait for any organisation abroad or other governments to deal with this.
2. Secondly, depending too much on rich countries may make them weaker. For example, they will lose a part of their power if they agree to allow developed nations to help them with critical issues.
3. Regarding to responsibility of wealthy countries. They should support poorer countries because there are millions of people in poorer nations need their help. Many people in Africa, especially women and children die everyday because of lack of food, medical treatments.
4. However, rich countries should not be forces to help poorer ones. It should be a choice not a responsibility.Answer
- Firstly, poorer countries need to take immediate responsibility for developing their own country rather than wait for aid from foreign organisations or governments.
- Secondly, if poorer nations overly rely on aid from wealthy counties, it can create a dependency which may result in them growing weaker rather than stronger in the long run.
- Regarding the responsibility of the wealthier nations in the world, they should support poorer countries which are in need of fundamental help. For example, in Africa many people die needlessly everyday, especially women and children, because of the lack of food and medical treatment which could be provided by richer countries in the form of aid.
- However, aid given by richer countries should not be an obligation but, instead, a choice to take responsibility to help people in need regardless of the country in which they live.
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