Essay Ideas about Salaries

The essay question below is currently being used in IELTS writing task 2 and was reported last weekend.

In many countries in the world, some people earn extremely high salaries. Some people think that this good for a country. Others think that the government should not allow salaries above a certain level. Discuss both views and give your opinion.

Why some people earning high salaries is good for a country:

  • people who are highly skilled and talented should be rewarded with high salaries.
  • high salaries are an incentive for others to work harder.
  • high salaries are important to entice people to do dangerous or unpleasant work.
  • having high salaries is a sign of a country’s wealth.
  • high salaries is a way for a country to express their gratitude for a person’s experience or expertise.
  • high salaries deter skilled or talented people leaving a country.

Why the government should now allow salaries above a certain level:

  • the government should ensure that wealth is evenly distributed throughout a country.
  • limiting high salaries would bring more equality.
  • it can be disheartening for some to receive a low salary while others receive a high salary without much justification.
  • capping high salaries will prevent the rich from gaining unfair control over certain aspects of society.
  • limiting high salaries will mean more funding for public services which will benefit all people in society.

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  1. Leanna Mae David says:

    G’day Liz! I am aware that you don’t comment and assess on writing. However, I still want to comment my ideas about the statement you have posted and hoping that some students who are more knowledgeable than me can correct and improve my writing. Thanks!
    Here it is…

    In most of the countries in the world, incredibly high salaries are earned by some people. It is believed by others that giving an extremely high wages on employees benefits the country, while others thought that the government ought to set limit on giving salaries to workers. In my opinion, I am convinced that government should give the employees the salaries they deserve.
    On the on hand, giving high salaries to employees is one of the indication that the country is wealthy enough to give their people the wages they deserve. High salaries can motivate employees to remain in their work and work hard. In addition, getting paid with excessive salaries can deter people from doing crimes, which are usually due to poverty and lack of money. For instance, younger people who are being paid with good salary can save them from hunger and can even support the financial needs of their family. Lastly, giving a huge salary can prevent talented and skillful people from emigrating the country.
    On the other hand, government should ensure that the country’s wealth is being evenly distributed. In addition, controlling the salary of employees can benefit the country. Firstly, limiting salaries will mean that the government will have more funds to improve public infrastructure, which will benefit all people in society. Secondly, wealthy individual can be prevented in terms of gaining control with some aspects of the society. Lastly, it will be unfair to some low-earner employees if others are being paid more than them without due process.
    In conclusion, while limiting the salary of the employees can benefit the country, I believe that it is much better if the government will provide the workers the wages they deserve with further justification. Also, giving talented and skillful people what they deserve will prevent them from going out of the country.

  2. Bharat Chhabra says:

    In today’s world,mostly in every part of the country,workers are earning incredibly good salaries.It is believed by many that giving handsome salaries to the employers is beneficial to the country,while others think that the government has put a restriction and should not allowed salaries above a threshold level.In my opinion,i believe that paying employers a high amount of salary boost the confidence of the employers and encourage them to work harder.

    On the one side,salaries act as a reward or incentive,different companies come with different strategies to encourage the employers such as naming employer of the month,reward for overwork are cited as a key examples of boosting the confidence of the worker.Consequently,paying handsome salaries incite them to work more harder that in turn,it benefit the company.It will refrain them from going to abroad for a better future.In addition to this,the employers will get a sense of satisfaction that their work is being valued by the organisation,therefore,it strive them to do more better.

    On the other side,paying less salaries to the workers specifically,to those who are highly skilled or proficient lower their confidence level.Workers start taking their jobs as only some way of feeding them,rather than as a profession.Admittedly,it effect the growth of the organisation and consequently, the country.Employers are no longer work with the zeal and the interest and as a result,they start migrating to the abroad where there talent should be acknowledged.

    In my opinion, i strongly believe that the government should not have to limit the salaries as it will discourage or insecure the employers and effectively it will cause the country.

    To conclude,paying high salaries encourage the employers to work more harder as it increases the confidence and endeavor it to do work harder.

  3. Kindly Liz give the proper introduction of the above mentioned essay..How to write the intro of this essay?

  4. Hi Liz, Is my introduction correct? “It is considered by some people having high salaries is good for a country while there are others who think that salaries above a assertive level should not grant by the governance.In my opinion, earning intensely high salaries is good for people who are highly skilled while the government by limiting high salaries would bring more equality.”

  5. Hello Liz,

    I am a constant user of your website and I have been learning a lot of valuable tips.
    I came through one of the recent topics and wrote an essay on it. Please help to evaluate and guide me on the corrections. Thanks in advance.

    Television is a good thing, because it gives people enjoyment and keeps them informed as well. Do you agree or disagree with this statement.

    It is undeniably true that during last few decades’ television has made a profound impact on mankind. It is a rich source of amusement as well as education. Additionally, television makes people updated in every aspect such as social development and current affairs. Hence, I am comprehensively convinced with the statement and striving to elaborate my justification below.
    To begin with, this is an era of modernization and people are unable to spare time with their family members in order to cultivate an extravagant lifestyle. Television is an ideal resort to this situation as it allows families to watch their favorite programs together. Consequently, the bonding within the family becomes stronger. In addition, television is quite educational for a viewer as it helps to intensify distinctive skills.
    Furthermore, television is a humongous medium of gratification as it provides wide variety of channels and people can watch programs as per their choice. Also, broadcaster ponder upon the demand and viewer’s rating, thus societies get quality of entertainment. Secondly, it makes people more aware about the different region of the world along with diverse ethnicities, heritage and cultures.
    Moreover, television plays a very vital role in terms of information. It updates societies with current affairs, news and ongoing sports mega and minor events. What is more, it is complete package of information as it galvanize people to travel extensively to untouched locations by showcasing them vigorously. Thirdly, it helps people to comprehend challenging aspects by showcasing practical scenarios exponentially.
    To recapitulate, the advancements in technology have revolutionized the method of entertainment and education by introducing television to human beings in a positive manner. Nonetheless, if television had not proposed then the growth of mankind would have been stagnant.

    • Try to learn the right way to write a thesis statement for IELTS. I explain in my introduction video for writing task 2 how to write an introduction. Don’t use ” I am comprehensively convinced with the statement and striving to elaborate my justification below.”
      All the best

  6. I think it has less error madam,
    please assess .

    Many people think that astronomical wages for some people can be considered as a favorable factor for a country while it is also thought that salaries should be controlled by the government. In my opinion, I think high wages can be beneficial for people as well as for a country.

    It is undoubtedly true that high package of salary can motivate a person to work hard and give a mental boost. Besides, people who earn high salaries should be able to receive them because of being skilled and expert. They can contribute to the economy of a country by giving high taxes, which are indispensable for improving the financial condition of a state also. Moreover, high salary is a sign of a country’s wealth, people who earn good salaries can help distressed and deprived people. Personally, in my point of view it’s essential to give attractive salaries to the skillful persons because it can prevent brain drain and it can aid to increase the overall condition of a state and also important for aforementioned reasons.

    As sometimes for getting a good amount of wage people do corruption as well as heinous task, a government can limit the proportion of salary. Furthermore, people of the same profession with lower salaries might suffer from inferiority complex, which in turn causes loss of productivity. To balance economy as well as to fund more for public services which will benefit the society and to distribute wealth evenly are the reasons for a government to cap high salaries.

    In conclusion, I strongly believe that only high package of salary can make people effective as well as the country’s economy also.

    • Yes, it’s better. But don’t use “heinous task” is a wrong choice of words. Also use “On the other hand” to start the second body paragraph because it presents opposite views.

  7. Many people thinks that astronomical wages for some people can be considered as a favourable factor for a country while it is also thought that salaries should be controlled by the government. In my opinion, I think high wages can be beneficial for people as well as for a country.

    It is undoubtedly true that high package of salary can motivate a person to work hard and give a mental boost. Besides people who earn high wages should be able receive them because of being skilled and expert. They can contribute in economy of a country by giving high taxes which is indispensable for improving financial condition of a state also. In addition to handsome salary is a sign of country’s wealth ,people who gain good salary can help distressed and deprived people.Personally,in my point of view it’s essential to give attractive salary to the skillful persons because it can prevent brain drain as well as aid to increase overall condition of a state and also important for aforementioned reasons.

    As sometimes for getting a good amount of income people do corruption as well as heinous task,government can limit the proportion of salary.Furthermore,people of the same profession with lower salaries might suffer from inferiority complex which in turn cause loss of productivity.To balance economy as well as for funding more for public services which will benefit the society and to distribute wealth evenly are the reasons for government to cap high salaries.

    In conclusion,I strongly believe that only high package of salary can make people effectives as well as the country’s economy also.

    • You have the right technique but your score will be limited due to your grammar and vocabulary. Some words are inappropriately used. There are also quite a lot of grammar errors. If you don’t get the score you want in the test, it will be due to your English language rather than writing skills.
      All the best

      • If you kindly mention some of the mistakes,it would be very helpful to me.Because only your advice is really valuable for me.Please mam consider my request.

        Thank you.

        • I give advice but not free tuition. You will need to find a teacher to work on your language issues.
          Good luck

  8. liz mam,
    i’ve seen your modal essays and found that you’ve written a separate paragraph for opinion before conclusion.Should i write it or i can include my opinion in one of the sides while i describe.

  9. shrijana Sikhrakar says:

    Hello liz,
    could you please correct my mistakes. I have wrote the introduction for above essay .

    It is argued in the statement that earning a high package of salary is good for country to developed a nation, while others considered the government should allow some types of limitation for earning a high salaries. However, in my opinion ,I believe that high salary certainly help to developed a nation but I also think that government also concerned about those people ,who are extremely talented but not getting enough paid.

  10. Hi liz
    Welcome back from holidays, I really appreciate your help . I honestly want to know my score, please take a few minutes to mark it.
    Topic: Some people believe that children’s leisure activities must be educational, otherwise they are complete waste of time. Do you agree or disagree?
    Give reason for your answer and include relevant examples from your experience.

    No one can deny the fact that modern world is the result of education that has brought up to this stage. As such education is the third eye of human being. Education is the main priority for growing children. Many parents are seeking to secure a good mure for their children. According to my understanding, I completely agree with the statement.
    The positive aspect of education in children can be put forward in three main reasons. Firstly, parents who take education as a serious matter for their kids, believe that children should be kept within the education frame throughout their lives, this will help them to tackle with hard work in difficult situation at school, then they will increase their opportunity for going to higher education getting a better job.
    Secondly, children those who lack a proper guidance in education since their childhood will definitely detour their path in some wrong doing . Such children destroy their own future and also become burden to the country, eventually end-up in a tragic accident. This can be proven from one of my neighbor,whose son was misguided from his young-age, parents had to face a bad suffering from his unsocial behavior, finally ended-up in prison, caught during the drug dealing.
    Lastly, children are the future of today,one misleading act can turn these kids to face the negative consequences. Thus education plays a vital role in children. these children ‘s contribution to the country makes a vast difference. People who are future oriented, definitely focus on children’s education and their well being, simultaneously development of the country.
    In a nutshell, education is the most powerful weapon in today’s terrified society to lit the knowledge between right and wrong. Nothing else can defeat education. Thus education is a key to in-lighten children from their childhood.

    • I’ll just give you a quick comment. Your essay is off topic. This is not about the benefits of education or about education. It’s about children’s leisure activities. When children have free time, do you think they should spend their free time doing something educational or do you think they should do something fun or sporty? What types of activities should children do in their free time? You need to answer these questions and nothing more.

      Always paraphrase the essay question in your introduction – don’t include any extra information in the introduction. Not one of your statements in the introduction refers to leisure activities. You must keep on the exact topic.
      All the best

  11. hi Liz ,can you please give some ideas to write on this.
    A recent study showed that both developed and developing countries prosper because of economic growth. people from developing countries are happier than before while people from developed countriesare not happy as they were in the past.
    why this is happening ?how this situation can be improved ?

    • This essay question is all about why people in developing countries are happier than in developed countries. One reason for this is that people in a developing country are in a country that is dynamic and changing which means they feel there are prospects and opportunities for a better life. On the other hand, people in developed countries feel a lack of dynamic energy in their country and lose the drive for a better life. That is just one reason but I’m sure you can think of other reasons.

      This situation could be improved by encouraging people in developed countries to be more dynamic and creative with their ideas. For example, for the government to offer them funding to start up new business and rewards for new creative ideas. This would avoid stagnation and create a more positive environment.

      To be honest, this essay has many potential ways of tackling it. It just depends on why you think people are happier in developing countries.
      All the best

  12. dear liz I really need to know my score

    In several parts of the world , wages are so high .Some believe that could be beneficial for countries, while others argue that governments must took major steps to control payments in a certain level .

    According to the published researches ,high amount salary is the most powerful reinforcement among workforces in companies to work harder . An illustration of this is employees with higher salaries trying to reach their workplace on time as well as working at least 8hrs a day .
    By contrast lower earnings have negative influences ,such as increased number of dissatisfied people which could lead to protests against governments plans like gatherings and strikes .Another disadvantage is that it meant to significant rise in number of emmigrants who are seeking better life in developed countries.

    It is also important to consider ,the certain level of making money would allow governments to distribute facilities equally among different groups of society , as a result the construction plans would progress with acceptable speed and of course it allows developing countries become developed . Furthermore it is good for support health care system as well as public transportation .
    Another aspect of sharing money in a certain range is ,it would not let loaded people to interfere in politics or support certain parties, so it help having more democratic elections.
    To conclusion ,it is important to control the level of payments. But at the same time governments should consider higher ranges is make citizens more satisfied of the quality of their life .

  13. As Liz is on holidays, I warmly welcome if someone could judge my essay.
    “Some working parents believe childcare centers can provide best care for children, other think family members like grandparents can do. Discuss both views and give your opinion.”
    There are different views relating on care of children in our society. Many earning families understand children are well looked after by Kindergarten schools while, in some families’ perception elderly people have better knowledge in looking after the little kids.In my opinion, children should be grownup in the hands of grandparents.
    It is understandable that people are busy in their life working hard to achieve success and earn more for better life standard. They seldom get a free time for self, how could their kids get? Thus, it is suggested to provide the necessary care through childcare on their behalf. Another possible reasons may be that mum and dad wouldn’t have to worry about their little ones rather can give full attention to achieve their goal. On the other hand, care centers facilitates these children with all the learning materials and maintain overall guidance throughout their activities. As such child care centers are the second home for these children.
    on the contrary, people who believe love and affection plays the vital role in the growth of kids, they want their son’s and daughter’s should be looked after by their grannies. This views can be discussed in three different reasons. Firstly, children’s mind are like a moist clay,you can form any design through it. Children who always get nourishment with love and care by their parents wouldn’t have to suffer from inevitable accident. such as addiction to different drugs, unsocial behavior and involve with bad friends. These kids believe parents are always there to help them so feels no hesitation to speak up in any circumstances.
    Secondly, Parent love resembles the healthy environment in the family. Support to one another in need is the basic theme in a united family which can be obtained only from elders.
    Finally, children growing in the hands of grannies will certainly be the most obedient and better man than any one else because they get the blessing and the good future path in their life.
    In a nutshell, although some parents think that childcare center are the most important for kids, I believe nothing else defeats grandparents love and care.

    Feedback is most welcome.

  14. Hi Liz,
    Wild animals have no place in 21st century, so protecting them is a waste of resources. to what extend do you agree or disagree?

    In this neoteric era there are people who affirm that there is seldom space for wild animals in world, therefore any measures taken to secure them is a wastage of energy, time and money. In my opinion, human being exalted position in the hierarchy of living beings its ethical to protect and safeguard other fellow creatures.

    I have tried to write an introduction for the above IELTS question, can you evaluate and give your valuable suggestion about how i could have done it better.

    Many thanks

  15. hi dear liz …..I really need to know where my introduction paragraph stands ( I need ielts score 7 )

    In several parts of the universe wages are so high .Some argue that is beneficial ,while the others think incomes more than a certain range should be prohibited by governments.In my point of view there must be laws to limit the earns in a specific quantity

  16. Dear Liz,

    I am delighted to let you know that I got my IELTS result today which I took on 28 Feb,2015. I achieved an overall band score of 7.5 including 8.5 in listening, 7 in speaking, 7.5 in both reading and writing 🙂 I truly believe that, it would be impossible for me to get this score without your immense help. I have no words to express my gratitude to you. Your advice, specially, regarding writing helped me a lot. Your tips and resource of this site, to practice speaking alone by recording also was a great idea. I was able to improve my score 1 band by practicing this way(last time I got 6 in speaking)…It really works!

    Finally, thanks again for everything :-D. May God bless you.


  17. Hi liz
    My introduction for above topic is
    Many nations around the world have distinct ideas regarding earnings. In some people’s prospectus generating maximum income is better for the country whereas, other believe there should be bar drawn on salaries. In my point of view, government should ensure that wealth is evenly distributed throughout a country.

    Hi liz this is my first attempt so please comment in it.

    • Hi Sita,

      Unfortunately, I no longer have time to comment on writing. Hopefully I will have more time in a few weeks.
      All the best

  18. Binhminh says:

    I am a new comer. I try to write my first introduction. Please give me advice.

    In recent years, some people in many nations around the world are geting very high incomes. Proponents believe this policy brings many benefits for a countries, wheares opponents argue that the level of wages should be limited by governments. Both views will be discussed before reaching a final conclusion.

    I intend to write both views first and then give my opinion in the conclusion. Is it acceptable?

    • Hi,

      It’s a problem to only give your opinion in the conclusion. This essay requires you to give both a discussion and an opinion – both are equally important. So, only putting it in the conclusion will reduce your score for task response which is 25% of your marks. Put your opinion in the introduction and then state it again in the body as well as in the conclusion. Here’s a link to my model essays for you to take a look:
      All the best

  19. Moushumi says:

    Dear Liz,

    Thanks a lot for the great ideas! However, some of my ideas were similar to you but I had some other different ideas on my answer. I would like to share them with you and others and hope you wouldn’t mind leaving a comment on this.

    Why it is good for a country :

    1.People who earn high salaries are able to achieve them because of their skill, qualification and experience.
    2. They also pay higher taxes, which can later be used by the government for further developmental activities of the country.
    3. They sometimes donate and work for the distressed and the deprived of the society.

    Why it should be controlled by the government ;
    1. It causes economic imbalance in the country.
    2. Some people of the same profession with lower salaries might suffer from inferiority complex which in turn causes loss of productivity. They lose their self-esteem and cannot do their best in their workplace.
    3. Some may also follow unfair means to attain high salary which have a overall detrimental effect on the country.

    Nevertheless, I supported that government shouldn’t have control over the high salaries.
    Thank you in advance.

    Best regards,

    • Hi Mou,

      They’re great ideas and very useful for all students. I would only change the grammar in the first point and write “People who earn high salaries should be able to receive them because …”.
      All the best

  20. Ajesh Kumar says:

    Hai Liz, here is my attempt to the above question. Kindly go through it and give suggestion.
    Thanking you in advance.
    Around the globe today, the number of people who receive huge wages is increasing in breakneck speed, this startle many economists and low income populace. It is argued that authority ought to maintain fix earning bracket. However, a fraction of workers have shown skepticism towards this view. the goal of this essay is to delve into these two points of opines before reaching my conclusion.
    on the one hand, benefits of giving giant salaries are well documented. firstly, majority of high income employees are highly skilled, it is indispensable to give them this amount and they truly worth for it. Secondly, there is a positive correlation between good wages and productivity. the statistics show that high earners work more for achieving organizational objectives. Finally, this trend would attract many youngsters for hard work to reach in the high earners strata.

    on the other hand, the drawbacks brought along with this trend not be shrugged off. the opponents against huge emoluments harbour The idea that salary discrepancy can lead to more polarized society. For instance, the gap between the rich and poor will increase and this accelerates the incidence of group prejudices. In addition to this, needy residents try to obtain more money by engaging in theft, robbery and so on in order to mimic the opulent human activities. hence it is easy to see why this argument garnered a lot of support.

    To conclude, after looking at both sides of discussion my personal sentiments are on par with the idea that rendering well pay to the deserved workers is vital. this payment act as a catalyst to work hard for the other employees, eventually this will ease the path towards the institutional mission.

    • Hi Ajesh,

      Unfortunately, I won’t be able to comment on your essay due to a backlog of work that I have. Hopefully other students will be able to pass comment for you.
      All the best

  21. Hi liz
    Do these essay writing style be applied for general ielts? If not can you post some materials for general ielts.

    • Hi,

      The techniques for writing the essay are the same for both tests. The only difference is that the GT test usually has a slightly easier, less complex essay question and also you can be slightly less formal. Otherwise, they are the same. So, you can benefit from all my lessons to write your GT essay.
      All the best

  22. kyumsun says:

    Owing to the growing disparity between the rich and the poor, some people think that it is better to control the limitation of salary by government whereas others think otherwise. In my opinion, when people earn enormous amount of money,it will bring more benefits to the person, but also to the society as a whole.

    Hello, Liz
    I just tried to write the introduction part. Do you think that it seems to be alright?

    • Hi,

      It’s fine. Your background statement is good. Don’t forget you need state your opinion more clearly “I think people should be allowed to receive a high salary …” rather than just stating the advantages.
      All the best

  23. Hi Liz,

    With this type of question “discuss both views” should I write in my introduction which side I agree the most?

    Thanks so much.

    • Hi,

      The discussion essay usually says “Discuss both sides and give your opinion”, so your opinion will still form your thesis statement. However, if it doesn’t ask for the opinion, then your just introduce both sides and then start writing.
      All the best

  24. Hi Liz,
    This is my introduction.Specific people earn huge amount of salaries thinking that it is good for a country. However, others think the government should limit salaries above a specific level. From my point of view, I think people who work hard to contribute to the development of the country should be rewarded handsomely.

  25. Dear liz,
    Let me ask you two questions
    1.Can I use ” income” / “remuneration package” to paraphrase the word ” salary”?
    2. In such discussion plus opinion essay, should I organise my first body paragraph with the one part of the question I disagree with, then followed by the point I agree to give opinion? Or should I follow the order stated in the question?
    For example, if I believe in the first statement ( high salaries can boost a country’s economy), and I do not favor the cap, should I write why I do not prefer asuch pay limit in my first paragraph?
    I am always confused with organisation and you are my angel to help me out. Thank you.
    Best regards

    • Hi Moon,

      1. It’s hard for me to say that you can paraphrase “salary” with the options you have offered in all situations. In some contexts, yes, but in all, possibly not. Each word in the English has its own limitations.
      2. It’s generally best to follow the order – discuss both sides and give your opinion which means 3 body paragraphs. But it is possible to join your opinion with the side you are discussing and agreeing with in one body paragraph. So, yes it could work as you suggested.
      All the best

    • Thank you once again for your clarification Liz!
      Best regards

  26. Dear
    Thank you again for your new topic. Here is my introduction.

    It is not uncommon for some employees receiving unusually high amount of salaries in this modern world. While many welcome this as a symbol of rich economy, others argue that authorities should set a cap upon those high earners. My view is that all responsible workers simply deserve the best to enjoy such big rewards.

    Best regards

    • Hi Moon,

      It’s fine but you need to write your thesis statement more clearly to actually answer the essay question directly. Should salaries be limited or not – give a direct answer rather than writing about what people deserve.
      All the best

      • Dear Liz
        Thank you very much for your point.
        I will answer both statements in my introduction next time.
        Best regards

  27. Hi Liz,
    sorry the last 3 lines need to be deleted. Somehow I missed to do that. I am finding it difficult in sticking on to number of words particularly for introduction and overview. Can you tell me the number of lines for that.

    • Thank you so much Liz. It’s because of your response that I am improving. I value your suggestion and greatful to you, thanks a lot.

  28. Hi Liz,
    Here is my introduction, please tell me if anything is wrong.
    Some people think that it is good to earn high salary whereas others think that government should have a control over peoples’ salary. In my opinion, people who work hard deserve high salary as motivation thereby increasing productivity and economy of a country.

    • Hi Uma,

      It’s a great introduction. Very clear. Don’t worry too much about the length between 35 – 55 words is possible. However, this length is excellent and the information is all relevant and focused. However, don’t forget to pay attention to your articles “a high salary” and “the productivity…”
      All the best

  29. Ayman Kenawy says:

    In addition to the introduction and conclusion ,I wrote 3 body paragraphs,the first on why earning high salaries is a plus point for the country,the second on why some people think that governments should put ceiling to salaries ,the third body paragraph on my opinion which is ,it is not the amount of money but the value of money that should justify earnings.

    I have a question here ,I started the the third body paragraph by ,In my opinion,

    Is this correct?
    Thanks Liz.

    • Hi,

      The structure sounds completely fine. Discuss one side, discuss the other side and then put your opinion – each one body paragraph. My only doubt is your actual opinion. I’m not clear how relevant it is to the essay questions which is about either allowing high salaries or capping them.
      All the best

  30. hi liz! is this a good introduction? “these days, in some societies , it is common to find a few people earning astronomical wages while others earn meager salaries. some people consider it as good development for the respective nations while others think it is a bad precedent that needs to be addressed by the government. in my opinion, i believe equal distribution of wealth should be of utmost priority by government of these societies”.

    • Hi,

      It’s a good introduction. A clear background statement and thesis statement. Your vocabulary is very good “astronomical wages” is excellent. But check “by government of these societies” = “by governments”. On the whole, perfectly fine. I’ll get to your full essay another time. Sorry, it’s takes me so much longer to comment on full essays.
      All the best

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