Answer to yesterday’s paraphrasing exercise 3

Yesterday, I gave you the essay question below to paraphrase:

Essay Question: Artists need a certain amount of freedom to develop their creativity. Some people think that artists should have total freedom to express any thoughts and ideas. To what extent do you agree or disagree?

On this page you will find

  1. model background statements for the above essay question
  2. good background statements posted by students
  3. a list of common mistakes
  4. a full model introduction
  5. useful link for writing task 2

Please let me know if you find this lesson useful

Model Background Statements

  1. As artists need freedom for their creativity, it is thought that there should be no limits to their freedom of expression.
  2. Some people believe that artists require freedom to be creative and therefore should have complete freedom to express any idea they have.
  3. Artists having complete freedom to convey any belief is thought by some to be paramount to an artist’s creative development.
  4. It is thought that without complete freedom of expression, an artist will not be able to be develop their creativity.

Interesting Background Statements from Students

  1. While it is generally understood that in order to be creative an artist must have some liberty to develop impulses and ideas creatively , some would argue that they should have full, and unrestricted, creative licence.
    1. Comment: This is a good background statement but too long. It’s a waste of time to write a long background statement and it won’t boost your score. But otherwise, this is well written with great vocabulary.
  2. It is considered by some that artists, in order to amplify their creativity, should be totally free to express their ideas and thoughts.
    1. Comment: This is the right length and well written. Just one mistake – the word “amplify” is incorrect. Avoid over paraphrasing – just use the word “develop”.
  3. Since art requires a level of freedom to be creative, some believe that artists ought to be granted all the freedom of expression they need.
    1. Comment: This is a great background statement. It’s written very well. The only thin I would change is the last word. I would change it from “need” to “want”.
  4. It is true that a level of liberty is required by artist to enhance their imaginative skills, but some people believe that artists should have unrestricted freedom in giving voice to their opinion and believe.
    1. Comment: I like this background statement. Nicely written. However, there are grammar mistakes: required by artists (plural needed) / to voice their opinions and beliefs (plurals needed).
  5. It is widely believed that artists ought to be given absolute freedom of expression, because freedom is essential in the development of their creative process.
    1. Comment: Well done 🙂

Common Mistakes in Paraphrasing

  • Artists = creators
    • this is wrong. The word artist means artist. You don’t try to paraphrase this.
  • Artists = people from art sphere
    • A mistake. It is obvious that paraphrasing the word “artist” is difficult. In fact, you shouldn’t try. Not all words in English can be paraphrased.
  • Some people = few people
    • this is wrong. You could write “a few people” but not “few people”. The term “few people” means “not enough people. It has a different meaning entirely.
  • It is always a topic of debate that
    • this shows the examiner you can’t write your own sentences and need to memorise phrases from a book. It will not help your score.
  • creativity = ingeniousness
    • completely wrong. Never paraphrase unless you are 100% sure. Mistakes will lower your score.

Full Model Introduction

Here is my model introduction. My thesis statement presents a partial agreement.

Some people believe that artists require freedom to be creative and therefore should have complete freedom to express any idea they have. In my opinion, while freedom of expression is important, art must be censored for violent or dangerous content.

Please let me know if you find this lesson useful.

Useful Link for IELTS writing task 2

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Comments

  1. zeeshan ahmed says

    Hope this finds you in good health. This was very useful lesson. I have just one question, is it correct to write innovation in place of creativity. Ignore this, if it is already discussed.

    • It’s an interesting question. The words “creativity” and “innovation” are connected but different. Also, it’s important to look at the topic. This topic isn’t about creativity in business, but about art and artists. The word “creativity” is about original ideas and in this essay about paintings, sculptures, actors etc. All that is art and all of it is about the individual expression of the person doing it.
      The word “innovation” is about how to implement ideas. In some ways it could relate to art if there was something complicated about how they do their art. But it is more common in business when you have an ideas, but then you need to figure out how to put the idea into action. For example, I had the idea of an IELTS website and Youtube channel, I had the idea of the contents, I had an idea of how I wanted to help others – those are creative ideas. But the method, technique, adaption I needed to do to create the website and also, more importantly, make it successful requires “innovation”. Many people have creative ideas for a website or Youtube channel, but do they have the skills and ability to make them successful?
      So, you see the words are connected, but they are not synonyms. They are two different words that relate to two different things. One relates much more to art, the other relates much more to business ventures. One is about the creative idea and the other is how to make it work. So, in this essay, it would be confusing to paraphrase one with the other and the essay could go slightly off topic.

      I’m so glad you asked. Not because the words are essential words for IELTS, but because these are the things you need to think about when you paraphrase. I give the same advice all the time – don’t over paraphrase, don’t take risks, if you aren’t sure – don’t do it. Always aim for accuracy in meaning and grammar for IELTS writing. So, the fact that you are talking about it is great.

      • zeeshan ahmed says

        Thanks a lot for your generous reply. always praying for your health. Regards

  2. Artists need freedom to grow their creativity in efficient manners.However, a few people argue that no freedom ought to given by artists to express feelings as well as ideas.

    • Manisha patel says

      creative artist ought to have freedom to enhance their art.many belive that they have plenty of freedom to evolve their creativity and ideas .

  3. sanjeewa says

    Thank you so much and i highly appreciate your efforts, i am from sri lanka i am going to sit IELTS October 29 your all lessons so useful .
    sanjeewa senanayake

  4. Josymol says

    Thanks for your support Liz I have my exam on Dec 19th plz wish me good luck

  5. Thank you very much for this lesson Liz.
    I really appreciate all your efforts. All your lessons have been helpful. My exam is on the 26th of this month.

    Hope you’re getting better. You’re constantly in my prayers.

  6. Anyone please reply how you feel about this introduction
    A lot of people think that artists ought to have complete freedom to express their thoughts and ideas, so that they can develop their innovative thinking.

  7. Thank you ma’am

  8. Freedom is the primary requirement of artists to make themselves creative. According to some people artists should be provided with a restriction free environment in order to develop novel thoughts and ideas.

  9. very good lesson, thank you.

  10. It is very useful for writing introduction

  11. Souli says

    Being a creative artist requires complete freedom. It is widely thought that there is no limit of freedom for an artist to express what is going in his mind.
    What do you think Liz?
    Regards.

    • Is this the background statement? If so, the problem is that you have not stated this as someone else’s opinion/suggestion. People do not think there is is no limit = people think there should be no limit. You are presenting someone’s suggestions and then you present your own as a reply.
      Also see if you can write the background as one statement. This isn’t a rule – just a recommendation.

  12. Smruthi says

    Hi liz,

    This is very useful.. Thankyou

  13. Creativity picks up a greater height when the artists are empowered with freedom to think and express their ideas.

  14. Zeenat says

    Value overload. Thanks liz

  15. Hello Mrs. Elizabeth,

    I find this, and all your lessons in total very usefull.

    Thank you very much..

    Kind regards
    Vladimir Cara

  16. Seethal Michael says

    Some people believe that artists should get enough freedom to convey their thoughts and messages to the community.In my opinion although it is necessary to have freedom to deliver their ideas all art form should be censored to prevent violation of law.

  17. Mustafa says

    Giving a level of freedom to artists is very essential for them, so they could be able to express their opinions and beliefs in a creative and amazing way.

    What do you think Liz?

    • Mustafa says

      Some people are believed that giving a level of freedom to artists is very essential for them, so they could be able to express their opinions and beliefs in a creative and amazing way.

  18. Some people think that Artists require freedom to encourage their creativity, while many others believe that Artists ought to have no limit freedom to express their ideas and thoughts.

  19. The degree of freedom in which artists’ creativity can be developed has always been a controversy , while it is thought by some there should be no limit.

  20. Some people feel that artists should not be restricted by anyone in expressing their thoughts and ideas. While I agree that artists need a certain amount of freedom to develop their creativity, I feel that this freedom should not be absolute.

  21. Great and awesome lesson. Thanks you Liz

  22. Usman rafique says

    Informative

  23. Simranpreet kaur says

    Hi! Liz
    Is it right to use ‘Succinctly’ instead of ‘To conclude’ or ‘In a nutshell’.

  24. Thans so much Liz, it was very useful and helpful.

  25. Thank you Liz

  26. Great help thanks Madam

  27. Neena Kamran says

    Please give suggestions! Iam still waiting 🙁
    Although some people think that expression of ideas and imaginations by artists should be under some limitations, others believe that it is required to improve their creativity.

    • I do not offer free marking service. I chose 5 introductions and commented on them. I will not give comments to 100 students.

  28. mary malondo says

    artist require freedom to a certain extend to build up there creativity,part of the population feel that artists should have complete freedom to express any mind and ideas.However in my view i don’t agree with the access to complete freedom

  29. memoona amin says

    Hey Liz…….thanks for your great lesson and tips…your work for students is really helpful and appreciable👍🏼

  30. Ganesh kumar says

    Hello mam.I cant understand the fact that
    Crativity=ingeniousness is wrong.
    Please explain why it is wrong because I found creativity=ingeniousness in the theasurus.com

  31. Hi Liz, much appreciated

  32. Great! Really love your videos and tips!

  33. Hi Liz…let me express my sincere gratitude to you for the lessons.
    This is very useful for my writing. Thank u once again.

  34. Fred Lopes says

    Hello Liz,
    Thanks a lot for your help. This lesson is so important. The writing seccion is my big problem.

  35. Hi liz , your lessons really useful

  36. Hi, Liz!
    Great lesson and tips! Thank you!
    Could you please comment my paragraph?… It was my first exercise, actually.
    Watching ALL your videos!

  37. Shiva YC says

    Thank you Liz, its a great opportunity for my improvement.

  38. Astounding work done by Liz
    M impressed n hoping to learn more from respected Liz
    My bestest regards

  39. kingston says

    thank you sister for this it helps me to revise.

  40. Hi, Liz!
    Great exercise! It would be wonderful if you prepared more stuff like this (with model answers)
    Thanks

  41. Hlo mam
    I’m little confuse that you are partial agree but you did not mention in introduction.
    And is it mandatory to mention in introduction part that agree or disagree?

    • You must give your opinion that is what the examiner is looking for. You do not need to use the words “agree” or “partially agree”.

  42. The government should allocate more funding to teaching sciences rather than other subject for country to develop and progress.

    After paraphrasing
    Although many would argue that other subjects has a greater role in education,i think the nation should assign more subsidy to science subject for its prosperity.

  43. Neena Kamran says

    Please give suggestions!
    Although some people think that expression of ideas and imaginations by artists should be under some limitations, others believe that it is required to improve their creativity.

  44. Anupama verma says

    Hi Liz
    I really like your tips and lessons. They help me a lot in preparing for the exam. My query is .. can we talk of both pros and cons in the ques to what extent you agree…

    • Your task is to present a clear opinion and explain it. Don’t turn it into a discussion essay.

  45. Anastasia says

    Hi Liz! How is it correct to say: English teacher or teacher of English? ☺
    Thanks in advance!

  46. Thank mam

  47. Mohammad Abdus Salam says

    It’s really great!!! Thanks Liz. I think I’m getting benefited by using your guidance.

  48. kalaivanan pullaiannan says

    Thank you mam your suggestion.

  49. Hi Liz, thanks for this great introduction tips lesson. I was wondering if you had the full version of the written essay? Cheers.

  50. Suleiman says

    Hi, Liz, Thank you, it is very useful.

  51. Nahida Akther says

    According to a few people there is no alternative of liberty to present artists imagination in the creative work. I think free thinking and academic knowledge are also important.

  52. Oh yay…I see mine there and I got the “well done”, thanks Liz, im quite encouraged…..but I’m still struggling with achieving the perfect length of introduction…. I’m still hitting about 70 words, I need to whittle that down to about 50words before 30th….will keep practicing…. Thanks again Liz

    • just remember – you paraphrase the essay question in brief. This is not creative writing – it is a formal, boring, simple essay. Your thesis statement presents an answer without too much detail – detail is for the body paragraphs. If you need extra help, see my advanced writing lessons: https://elizabethferguson.podia.com/

  53. Abdoalmanim Alshaibi says

    Thank you Liz, so valuable lessons

  54. Thanks ma’am your teaching is always on point

  55. Thanks liz
    First time i asked a ques and u reply.l’m great fan of u.liz u r real eg of beauty with brain.

  56. To those who didn’t spot their own background statement in this post (including me): don’t give up and be positive, practice makes perfect 🙂

    And thank you, Liz, for those valuable lessons.

  57. Simi fredy says

    I ‘m sorry….I wait for your lessons daily….

  58. Simi fredy says

    Thank you liz for the great work…..I wait for your everyday.

  59. Hi Liz, Thankyou for this. I will keep practising.

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